


A letter for the Hero Of Ferelden

by sightsoblind



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, I SAY IT AGAIN, I cried writing this, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-03
Updated: 2017-12-03
Packaged: 2019-02-09 22:50:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12898515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sightsoblind/pseuds/sightsoblind
Summary: Alistair is trying to find a way to tell her what she means to him. So he writes her a letter.





	A letter for the Hero Of Ferelden

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Smutnug](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smutnug/gifts).



> This happened because Smutnug gave me Alistair feels. You bitch.

~~Warden Mahariel,~~

Lyna,

Surprisingly I find I don't hate Anora. I can already hear your I told you so. I wanted so badly to vilify her for all her father did but I think she was just as trapped as I was. The rebuilding is going so beautifully here in Denerim I wish you could come see it. They framed the arrow you put in the Archdemon's eye.

Alright I had it done. I don't care if it makes me look like a fool.

It's sitting now above my desk even as I write to you.

I want you to know that despite the historians who want me to recount every detail of the last year I have preserved some of your dignity for history while not reducing the things that made you, well, you.

I told them how you punched the Magister in the alienage and how you took that hit in the tower simply because it was the only way you could think to shield the children. I told them about your terrible habit of going OVER things rather than around them like a civilized soul. Leaping off ridges into groups of enemies and scaring the shit out of them before you opened them a new smile a bit lower than the old one.

I told them about your friend, the corrupted one.

I made sure they got it right, his bravery and his sacrifice and the noble end you gave him.

I didn't tell them about your tears after. I didn't tell them about Oghren stealing your small clothes and wearing them around on his head as you chased him into a thicket and then beat him while trying not to laugh. I even graciously left out the time Zevran got you drunk and tried to get you a whore.

I didn't tell them about us.

You were my rock, my best friend, my companion. You were the first person who ever loved me and you knew nothing about me except that we both got the short end of the stick.

I fell apart after Ostagar. OH that reminds me. I totally told them how you slapped me and made me get up out of my own misery. I told them how it would have ended before it ever began without you.

I want to tell them how much I love you too. I want to find a way to etch it into the fabric of history so that everyone who ever hears my name will hear how I was nothing before you and am only here today because you believed in what I could be. I want them to know the woman I do.

And lastly because I never said it enough.

I love you.

You are the Queen of my heart. You are my guiding star and my shining sun. You are my everything.

I Alistair Theirin, Grey Warden and Bastard King love you, Lyna Mahariel of the Dalish. I will always love you.

 

* * *

 

 

He folds the paper in thirds and seals it closed. His hand hovers for a moment over the Royal Seal before reaching for the Warden seal behind it. He tucks the letter into his breast pocket and pulls himself together. This missive will be hand delivered.

Anora waits for him in the hall, “Are you ready my king?”

“No. But that never stopped the world from turning before.”

She just arches a brow at him imperiously.

“She would have laughed at that.”

Anora gives him a small pinched frown and he sees in that expression the very reason he can never, ever tell anyone that he loves the Hero of Ferelden.

“Alright let's get on with it.”

 

* * *

 

 

When they reach the hall he only has eyes for one girl and she looks beautiful. She's washed and he almost doesn't recognize her without all the road dirt that had been almost another member of their motley band.

He doesn't want to be here. He doesn't want to be king. He doesn't want a life that doesn't have her in it every waking moment of every day.

He pulls himself together and steps forward.

He's stopped by Anora’s hand on his arm.

“My Lord?”

“I won't embarrass you. I just need to say good bye.”

He pulls out of her grip and crosses the dozen feet that feels farther than the entire length of Ferelden.

He pulls the letter from his coat, the one filled with all the things he can't say and tucks it into her hands before stepping back.

He nods solemnly and the torches are put to the pyre.

It only now occurs to him he never asked if the Dalish burn their dead. It's too late to change anything now, the flames have reached her shroud. All the same he will make sure her clan receives a part of her ashes. They deserve something more than his words for the grief he is sure they share.

He stands vigil beside her pyre until the last embers fade and no one says a word about the tears that streak his face.

He will always love her.

**Author's Note:**

> I was in tears writing this. Believe me I hate Cannon Origins as much as you do.


End file.
